I’m probably enjoying myself in the hot tub outside of my lodge right now, which means that you lucky people get another guest post!
Today’s post is by Nat from Handful of Halfpennys. Nat is from North Wales and has four children under five, two of which are twins. She can usually be found blogging about Food, fashion, days out, bedtimes, tantrums, guilt, schooling and shopping.
Today she is talking about parenting styles, from gentle parenting to just being an honest mum.
When my daughters were born I had very set ideas on how children should be treated, disciplined and how they should behave. Like most people, I was an expert at raising children until I had them.
I would pass judgment on Mums and wonder why they gave in to their children’s whims and whines and shook my head at their idle threats and lack of authority.
I would discuss our future parenting methods with my other half and at one point he actually referred to me as a disciplinarian. Good God!
Once I was a Mum and my daughters reached an age where they had their own minds and able bodies to get into any mischief they pleased I realized this wasn’t the case at all.
5 years into being a Mum and I don’t think I have ever carried out a punishment, if I tell them off I reward them afterwards to cheer them up, I send more mixed signals than I send text messages.
After I put to bed any dreams of being a tough love Mum I jumped on the gentle/peaceful parenting bandwagon.
I shared Memes explaining the psychological damage of leaving the baby to cry and the effects being forced to wear a coat outside when they didn’t want to. Yes, gentle parenting was much more up my street.
Only they seemed to really be against a good old shout, or calling children arseholes and none of them seemed to hold out for wine o clock like I did.
I made strides to improve my parenting to fit in with the rest of the gentle parents, of which I of course was one.
Then when I fell short, by shouting blue murder at them or making up ghastly stories about kidnappers to get them to walk holding my hand, I felt a world of guilt. I was a horrible parent. What would the other gentle parents think?
Time passed and by now I was a Mum of 4. Still trying to get it right and find my place as a Mum.
It was at this time I came across a new breed of Mums, they didn’t have a strict discipline method, but they didn’t go in for calm reflection. They admitted to letting their kids have their own way for a quiet life, then losing their cool and yelling until the windows shook.
Spurred on, The Honest Mums increased in numbers. Women joined together, threw their hands in the air and proudly shouted to the skies ‘We have no clue what we’re doing’.
They all stood side by side, the bottle feeders and the breast feeders, the working Mum’s and the ones that stopped at home, single parents and better halves, they shared their failings, their highs and their lows.
And I finally fit. Not into any particular style or method or group. I sat my arse down and finally it was comfy in the role of Mum, where doing what you need to get through is always the right way.
Thank you Beth for this fantastic post, I’ve been nodding in agreement pretty much all the way through reading it and have now decided that I too am an ‘Honest Mum’.