The Six Stages of Toddler Induced Sleep Deprivation

the six stages of toddler induced sleep deprivation

1.Denial

It’s just a phase. It will pass. She must be teething. Maybe she’s having night terrors? Yep, it’s a one off, a one off year maybe, but a one off all the same.

2.Woe is me

“My baby has never slept through the night, not once, so I’ve been sleep deprived for *insert years/months/days here*.”
“My baby slept through the night from six months and only started waking during the night again at 1 & 1/2 years. I had a taste of the good life, I knew what sleep was and I got used to it. Now it has been snatched away from me. At least you’re just not used to it full stop, you don’t know what you’re missing by now and I do. I’m much worse off.”

3.Solidarity

The parents of the sleep thieves come together. We laugh, we joke, we share funny memes on facebook. We eat cake. If we don’t laugh we will break.

4.Optimism

It will be easy to crack, we just need to settle her back down instead of giving her a bottle. If we persist we can easily crack this and she will be sleeping through the night again in no time at all. Night one, 4am toddler alarm sounds. I’m exhausted, I’ll just give her a bottle this once so that she goes straight back to sleep. I’m too tired to start tonight. We can start refusing from tomorrow.

5.Loathing

You deal with the night feeds because your husband has to get up to work in the morning, you’re on maternity leave so it’s only fair. You hate him. You deal with the night feeds because your husband dealt with them last night and you take it in turns. You hate him. Your husband snores. You hate him. Even though he does his fair share of wake ups he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, you can’t switch off. You hate him.

6.Fear

Will it ever end? Will I still be giving her a bottle during the night when she is sixteen, will I???? Really???? I NEED HELP!!!

 

3 Comments

  1. April 3, 2017 / 9:07 am

    This is all so true! It’s when they decide to sleep through for one whole night and make you think you have cracked it!

  2. April 4, 2017 / 6:36 am

    Hahahaha – love the way this post is written. I’m sure so many Mums can relate to it. My first born was a terrible sleeper and I thought everyone who said their child slept through was just a liar. Then my daughter came along and was an absolute dream.
    Amy @ Arty apple recently posted…Middle NamesMy Profile

  3. April 4, 2017 / 10:15 am

    Ooooh yes! I think we can all relate to this post lol

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