Guest Post : This Mum Business – Parenting Style

Today I’ve got a guest post for you, written by Jodie who blogs over at This Mum Business. Jodie covers a wide variety of subjects on her blog, including parenting, business and life as a mum raising a little girl with a Growth Hormone Deficiency.

Jodie from This Mum Business guest posting on A Slice of My Life Wales about her parenting style

In  an ideal world I would really like to consider myself to be a mindful attached parent. I completely buy into the idea that we raise very self aware children, able to understand their own emotions and confident and secure in themselves that they know it’s ok to show them. My eldest daughter Niamh is a very sensitive 6 year old. She is kind, considerate but also a very typical 6 year old who can make even the most patient Mother’s ears bleed. Yesterday, I had a morning from the bowels of hell.

It was so bad that I feel like I contradicted everything I’ve strived hard to teach Niamh about handling emotions and i’m ashamed. We were late up. The baby woke up just as I was about to get dressed which spells disaster as clothes needed ironing. I resolved to get dressed in the living room so I could distract the baby with Peppa Pig. Niamh was taking an age putting on her uniform and punctuating each item with a verse from High School Musical. My stress levels had risen to just behind my eyes.
Finally dressed, I grabbed the brush to do her hair. I was midway through the first stroke and she started to cry.

“Owwwww!”
“I’ve barely given it one brush! It can’t be hurting you…”
“Owwwwwwwwww!”
Cue more sobs.
“Stop crying!”
“I can’t help crying! I said that to my friends at school”
“Why were you crying at school?”
“My friends were bossing me around so I cried”
“Oh Niamh, no one likes a cry baby”
“I AM NOT A CRY BABY!”

In those six words I had managed to dismiss her feelings as unimportant and silly. I had made her feel silly too when really I should have acknowledged why she had felt upset at school and how to feel better about things. I apologised later that night and she seemed totally forgiving (although she admitted she had told her teacher I called her a cry baby – mortified doesn’t even cover it).

Neil thought I was over reacting but I just didn’t ever want her to become the class outcast. So fragile that it wasn’t worth playing with her. I want her to be self assured at school although her sensitivity also makes her who she is and she completely rocks. I never want to change her, such a contradiction!

I could have handled it a hell of a lot better but I guess that’s Motherhood. Trying to see the best practices through a fog of occasional rage and exhaustion and just hoping that tomorrow is a better day.

If you would like to see more from Jodie she can be found on the below social channels : 

My Parenting Style – The Relaxed Approach

I always hear talk about different parenting styles, often people thinking that their way is the only way. Some parents make it seem as though if you don’t do baby led weaning and carry your baby in a sling you are the devil. Others would have you believe that you must puree all of their food and set strict nap times, otherwise you are the devil. Myself, I take a relaxed approach and just go with the flow.

my parenting style - the relaxed approach - we didn't do blw we don't allow nap times to control our lives we sometimes allow our daughter to eat chocolate, other times we super healthy - our parenting style is relaxed. Attachment parenting, routine led parenting - does any of it really matter?

Both Spencer and I take a pretty relaxed approach to parenting, and I like to think that is why Aria is such a laid back, chilled out baby. We aren’t attachment parents, neither are we routine led, we just do what works for us at that particular time – and that works for us all.

I had a home birth, although it wasn’t planned! I had skin to skin and we delayed the clamping of the cord.
I tried breastfeeding Aria, and failed quite miserably. I expressed for a while but it all got too much so I switched to formula. I carried Aria in a sling, and pushed her in a pushchair. I wanted to try baby led weaning, but it got quite confusing and scary if I’m honest, so I gave Aria a mixture of purees and easy to eat finger foods (warning – do not ever refer to that as a combination of baby led weaning and traditional weaning – the hardcore BLW mum’s will hunt you down!). Aria slept in a moses basket next to our bed and moved into her own cot at around two-three months when she started to sleep through the night. She has never slept in our bed. Sometimes, when she is really upset, I try and bring her in with us, but she won’t settle with us, she likes to be alone.
We don’t allow nap times to control our lives. We don’t actually have set nap times. If Aria is grizzly, Aria is put to bed. If within five – ten minutes Aria is still crying we get her back up again. If she stops crying and has a sleep, great, she obviously needed it. If we have plans and Aria is tired we will go through with our plans, she can sleep in the car or in the pushchair. We don’t allow nap times to dictate our lives, the only time I will cancel plans due to Aria being tired is if the plans are for a baby group as they are no fun at all with a tired, sleeping baby.
Sometimes we shout at Aria when she is being naughty, sometimes we ignore her, other times we can’t help but laugh – ┬áparenting fail, but it can’t always be helped. Aria started her weaning journey with purees made from fresh, blended fruit and veg. I then bought a few jars for convenience, not to be used all the time, but just in case. Now, at one and a half years old, some days she will have a delicious, healthy homemade meal, other days she will have chicken dippers and chips followed by chocolate.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve got this parenting business sorted and I know exactly what I’m doing. Other times I feel as though I am failing miserably. But do you know what? Aria is fit, healthy and happy and that is all that matters.
Relaxed parenting, routine-led parenting, attachment parenting – be whatever style of parent that you want to be, and enjoy it!
Do you have a ‘parenting style’? If so, what category would you place yourself in?