“If you’re so tired why don’t you just go to bed?”
I never just do nothing. If I want ‘me time’ the only option is to stay up late, usually watching back to back episodes of trashy TV on Netflix. I’m tired, I should be in bed, but sometimes I want to do nothing. Just sit and do nothing.
I thought it would get better when she started play school. 2 & 1/2 hours a day to myself. Absolute bliss.
It did start to get better. Then she was ill. For over two weeks.
Even when we did get into some kind of a routine I still felt tired. Those 2 & 1/2 hours to myself are spent working. When she’s with her grandparents I work. When she’s asleep I work. I rarely switch off and it’s exhausting; even on the rare occasions that I do switch off I still have my phone at arms length, checking for emails and refreshing social media.
I find myself leaning towards CBeebies to become my friendly, reliable babysitter more and more just so that I can have a moment of peace, a moment of doing nothing.
I’m turning down nights out with friends because I can’t handle the thought of even more exhaustion caused by a late night of partying coupled with a stinking hangover. Gone are the days of moping around feeling sorry for myself on the sofa the morning after the night before. Of course I could just not drink, but I’m too tired to not drink, if I don’t down at least ten jager-bombs I find myself sitting there yawning, ready to abandon ship before most people have finished their pre-drinks and made their way to the pub.
I feel down because I don’t get out and I don’t see anyone.
I crave those nights out with my fellow mam’s, drinking to take a break from reality, to let ourselves go, to do some crazy dancing and a lot of talking. I’m just not sure the exhaustion and the aches and pains are really worth it for that one night of loving life, that night of letting go and just being me, albeit a slightly hyper, crazy version of me. But me.
Maybe I will always be tired. Maybe tired and miserable is just who I am now. I am defined by tiredness.
I’m not even really sure if this blog post makes sense or what the point of it is, and I’m too tired to really care.
Being a work from home mum is most definitely a blessing.
I get to spend more time with my daughter, I get to take my daughter to appointments, I get to take her to and from nursery, I have total flexibility to be there for her and I love that.
But sometimes, just sometimes, that blessing can be a bit of a pain in the ass, it becomes a curse.
When my daughter is ill it automatically falls on me to care for her, which is great as I want to be the one to care for her. It simply wouldn’t make sense for Spencer to book time off to care for her when I’m home anyway.
I love that I can care for her, I love that I can be there to comfort her and give her the hugs that she needs. But it wears me down, especially when it comes to week two of illness and the end is still no where near in sight.
I can see the emails building up in my inbox but I simply don’t have the time or energy to reply to them. I feel stressed and I’m irritable. I’m neglecting my work, I’ve not updated my blog for a while and my social channels are even more sparse than their usual pitiful selves.
I’m neglecting me. I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’ve not showered in days and my diet consists of shit, shit and more shit, as does Aria’s and Spencer’s. I’m neglecting us.
I chose to put myself in this position, people say that I’m lucky as ???I don’t have to take unpaid leave to care for my daughter, what they don’t understand is that I’m self employed, if I’m not working I’m not earning.
While stood at the school gate waiting to pick my daughter up from her first day at nursery it hit me, I’m a school mum now.
No more lazy days of not showering or getting dressed because I have too much work to do.
I have to wear a bra at least five days a week.
When I’m feeling down there is no more hiding in the house, I have to put on a brave face and be ready to face the world, or the other school mums at least.
Come rain or shine, and even snow, I’ll be there, trudging back and fore to the school.
This is my foreseeable future. I’m in a school mum now.
She has started nursery, or play-school, or pre-school, whatever it’s called.
I feel like a fraud, I don’t know any of the relevant terms or, well, anything. I didn’t even know she had snacks until I saw her eating fruit at pick up time.
Just yesterday we received the application form for ‘proper’ nursery, one where she wears a uniform and everything. There was no list of schools to choose from, no nothing. Just a form to fill in and assumptions that I know about these things when I know nothing.
I need to get my head around all of this because I’m a school mum now.
We’ve recently been tasked with putting the Cosatto Supa Go Stroller in Magic Unicorn print* to the test. As ever, Aria was more than happy to sit down, relax and trial the pushchair. Aria has taken to her new stroller like, well, a unicorn takes to rainbows. Now, as we know, a happy baby/toddler is a huge tick when it comes to strollers, but a happy mammy & daddy is an even bigger tick, we’re the ones who have to lug it around and store it after all!
As soon as I saw this stroller I fell in love with the eye catching magic unicorn print, as did Aria, who excitedly exclaimed HORSEY! The girl has a lot to learn, she hasn’t yet realised just how magical and amazing unicorns are, referring to them as their poor relatives horses, is she actually mine?
No detail is left when it comes to Cosatto, the brand who are on a mission to save the world from boring baby stuff.
I hate to admit that at the grand old age of thirty *cough* something I still don’t drive, this means that I rely on public transport and as a result I need a compact, lightweight stroller that is easy to manoeuvre and easy to collapse in a hurry. The Supa Go ticks all of these boxes, or at least it does on the way shopping before I load it up with ten million carrier bags. I can easily get the stroller on and off the bus and into position without disturbing my chilled out little madam. I no longer have the fear if I see another pushchair on the bus as I know that mine is small enough to fit us both on. In the unlikely event that there are a few pushchairs on the bus and I can’t fit mine on too, or the driver is just being mean and making me collapse the pushchair even though there is room, the Supa Go is easy enough to pop Aria out, fold down, click into place and carry, all while holding Aria’s hand so she doesn’t run off.
Talking of shopping, the shopping basket is the perfect size for everyday essentials and a few extra bits. Living in Wales means that I do tend to take the rain cover with me whenever I go out, and this does take up a huge chunk of the space, but I can still fit a few more bits and pieces in. The one downside to the shopping basket is that it can be quite difficult to get in and out of when the stroller is fully reclined.
The rain covers that come included with the stroller as standard are massive, ain’t nobody getting wet with this covering them. The basket, recliner and ‘spy hole’ are all still easily accessible with the rain covers in place. The handles are adjustable which is perfect for shorties like me and not so short people too!
Quite possibly Aria’s favourite thing about the Cosatto Supa Go stroller is the adjustable footrest. She loves to be the girl about town, chilled out with the foot rest in the raised position and looking cool.
Aria’s least favourite part of the Supa Go, but a very good feature, is the reclining seat. Aria hates it because she associates me reclining the seat with nap time. I recline, Aria screams. If you have a child who actually enjoys naps, or are using this pushchair for a newborn, this feature is perfect. What makes it even better is that it is so easy to recline with just one hand and very little disturbance. Unless your child is Aria and they scream when you recline it, then there will be a lot of disturbance.
The extendable hood on this stroller is HUGE. It is perfect for sunshade, or if you live in Wales and don’t need to worry about sunshade it is perfect for stashing your shopping in as you walk around, just remember to take it out and pay to avoid any awkward situations.
Other features include a handy ‘spy hole’ which is perfect for checking on your child without disturbing them, a five point harness and an easy to use kick on/off brake. All wheels are swivel and you have the option to lock the front wheels.
Not only is the stroller easily wipeable but the seat also also pops off for washing, perfect for sickly newborns and messy toddlers alike.
Priced at just £174.95 and suitable from newborn, the Supa Go really is fantastic value for money, especially when you consider the fantastic four year guarantee.
As you can see, Aria has a clear favourite way to Supa Go! How do your little ones Supa Go?
If you prefer to watch rather than read, check out my video review :
*Disclosure – we received the Cosatto Supa Go in exchange for an honest review*