Last Thursday I went along to the local hospital for a GTT test, I wasn’t worried, it’s just a standard procedure with my parents having diabetes. I don’t feel any different in this pregnancy than I did when pregnant with Aria, so I was sure the test would be negative. A few days had passed and I hadn’t heard anything. No news is good news they said so I must be fine. Or at least that was what I thought until this afternoon and the dreaded phone call. I have gestational diabetes.
The midwife who phoned me was shocked that I didn’t have any symptoms, my bloods came back ‘very high’. I guess I have been more thirsty than usual but I’ve put that down to the heat. I’ve been super tired, but I had just put that down to being older and looking after Aria. I didn’t for one second think that any of this could have meant that I had GD. The comments from people asking if I’m sure there is only one in there suddenly make sense. Maybe this baby is huge because I have GD.
Since receiving the phone call I’ve felt a mixture of emotions. Disappointment that my chances of a home birth are now highly unlikely. Sadness about the relief that I felt when I just about managed to avoid being consultant led due to my BMI, and the realisation that the relief was pointless as I am now going to be consultant led. Panic about what the hell I am going to eat on a daily basis and how I am going to manage to prepare healthy foods when I’m feeling this tired. Worry about how I’m going to fit in all these extra appointments while attempting to work from home, spend time with my daughter and get her to nursery for 2.5 hours a day. A *very slight* joy about the fact that I am likely going to have lots of extra scans.
I’m not sure where my GD journey will take me yet, I have to wait for an appointment with my consultant. Hopefully then I will know if they think I can control this thing with diet, or if I need medication, or maybe even insulin.
I’m not sure if GD is going to result in me having a huge baby, or a premature labour, or even being induced early on. I’m not sure if my GD will result in further pregnancy complications, such as pre-eclampsia.
I’m confused about what I need to do now, I feel like I’m in limbo. All I’ve been told for now is to go sugar free and wait for an appointment. I’ve joined a fantastic facebook group for UK mum’s with gestational diabetes and have had some great advice from friends who have previously had the condition. All that I can do for now is follow this advice and wait.
One thing I do know is that no matter how hard it seems, it isn’t for long, I’m 29 weeks tomorrow and from what I’ve read a lot of GD pregnancies result in early labours.
I also know that it’s not my fault. I’ve not got GD because I’m overweight. I’ve not got GD because I enjoyed far too many bowls of strawberries with cream and tonnes of sugar in early pregnancy. It is all linked to pregnancy hormones and genes. Despite knowing this, I still can’t shake that feeling that people will assume I’ve got GD because ‘I’m fat’.