I’m Not a Shit Mam, Just an Honest Mam

16th May 2017
I'm not a shit mam, just an honest mam - a blog post in reaction to an article slamming the rise of the slummy mummies

There is an article doing the rounds today, slamming the ‘slummy mummy’. Said article criticises big mummy bloggers, bloggers who chose to share very real life parenting, bloggers who so many ‘normal’ mums look up to and relate to. These bloggers make people realise that they aren’t alone, they aren’t a shit parent. They are just normal. It criticises their choices and even refers to them as slummy mummies.

The thing is, like me, these mums aren’t slummy, they are just honest.

Honest parenting is on the rise. For far too long we’ve been made to feel useless when other mother’s share their perfect lifestyles on social media. While I would love to be the pinterest perfect mother who lovingly crafts and bakes with their child that just isn’t me. I mean, I do these things, but I don’t necessarily enjoy them and they always go wrong. To those looking in on the outside I will never be a perfect parent, but I like to think that my daughter will grow up looking at me as the perfect parent for her.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, and it is so easy to hide that on social media, it is so easy to sell yourself as perfect when no one really is perfect.

I bake with Aria and it usually goes wrong and I almost always regret it. I share this with my readers. Why? Because I want them to know that they aren’t the only ones who hate baking with a toddler.

As much as I love my daughter I love having time away from her, time on my own, preferably with wine or sometimes even lager. I share this with my readers. Why? Because they may feel the same and if no one else admits to wanting time alone they may question their parenting.

My daughter has strops, lots of strops. There is the drop and strop. The I’m tired but I’m not going to sleep strop. The wrestling when I put her in the pushchair even though she is too tired to walk strop, to name but a few. I share this with my readers. Why? Because there is a big chance that their child has had at least one of these strops today and that they are feeling like maybe they did something wrong. I want them to know that they aren’t alone and that this is just what children are like.

I also share these things because sometimes I need the reassurance that I am not alone. Sharing these honest moments often results in support from other mothers, mothers telling me that I’ve got this, letting me know that their day has been equally as bad, or sometimes even worse. Honesty brings with it support, and support is what we need, motherhood is bloody lonely after all.  So, if my feeding my daughter fish fingers and chips in front of the TV offends you, I’m not sorry.

Sometimes, just sometimes I don’t like my toddler and quite fancy trading her in for a jägerbomb. Thanks to these ‘slummy mums’ I know that I am not alone in this. I am not a shit mam, just an honest mam.

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  • Reply Rebecca 16th May 2017 at 11:48 am

    Oh I’ve seen the article… honestly who wants to see the “perfect” life – it can’t be real! All toddlers are stroppy little sods on occasions… mine definitely are! And then they have their moments when they are lovely… would much rather know that other people are going through the same as me. It makes life interesting doesn’t it?

  • Reply Paige Wallbank 16th May 2017 at 12:17 pm

    Loved this! You can’t win online anyway, just post positive things (that’s so fake parenthood isn’t like that) post your child crying or the truth (what a shit mom) ? i think people should just stick to judging their own parenting! You’re a marvelous mam 🙂 xx

  • Reply Amy @ Arty apple 19th May 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Brilliant, I love it. Hate the fake life that social media etc can portray so good for you x

  • Reply Pat Jones 23rd May 2017 at 11:26 pm

    Ah, the pushchair strop! I know that one. And the ‘slummy mummy’ posts definitely help me feel better about my own crap mamming.

  • Reply Ojo Henley 10th June 2017 at 4:18 pm

    I chose not to read that article, because it took a small section of some excellent blogs, and made them sound terrible. Hell, we all have bad days! Isn’t it nice to pop online and see that you’re not alone? Well done, I say, you’re doing ok x

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