Transitioning from one to two children has been so much harder than I ever expected. I had a glimpse of just how difficult it was going to be on the first night at home. All was well until bedtime; Aria didn’t understand why she couldn’t sleep with us and Carrie could and I could see why, all of us were sleeping in one room, apart from her, she had to stay in a room on her own. That night three of us slept in our bed, with Carrie next to us in her Snuzpod. Four and a half months on and we still haven’t resolved that one, Spencer now sleeps in a room on his own while Aria shares the master bed with me.
It often feels like one of the two children is being neglected. Carrie is often neglected because of commitments with Aria, she is often dragged on the school run in last night’s sleep suit crying because she’s hungry and I’ve had no time to feed her. Thankfully the school run only takes 10-15 minutes, following which I have a little time to dedicate to Carrie.
The neglect works both ways, Aria has had to learn to do more stuff for herself as me feeding Carrie often clashes with her needs and demands. She’s come a long way and has even learned to flush the toilet by herself (by putting the seat down and climbing on it to reach the flush, maybe not ideal but it works). She is generally left to either wait or fend for herself while Carrie is feeding, apart from when she’s having a poo, Carrie is always pulled off the boob so I can assist with poos!
Aria’s early wake ups means that I can’t lie in, even if Carrie is still sleeping. Tiredness means that even when Carrie is napping I don’t always have the energy or the motivation to play with Aria, to give her the attention that she needs and desires.
I do a lot less for Aria than I used to, Spencer now baths her and puts her to bed, which is actually quite nice as it means that they get to bond more. Spencer has had to up his game. Working from home or going in to work late (so thankful for flexi time!) so that he can help get Aria ready in the mornings, especially if I’ve had a particularly bad night with Carrie or if she is furiously crying for a feed.
Carrie is often just left to it. I often feel as if she is missing out and doesn’t get as much attention as Aria had in the early days. I’m sometimes grateful that breastfeeding means I can’t get anyone else to feed her as it forces me to bond with her, even when I am short on time; it’s tough, but I have to make that time for her.
Being a mother of two sure is hard, but when I look at them together I wouldn’t change it for the world.